Friday, August 14, 2009
It's a Purchase Not a Lease! (title-credit to Tatum Liguori)
Unlike a 5+ year old car that has paint chipping, a CD player that doesn't work all the time, and definitely not all the luxuries of a newer model; marriage is to be a purchase not a lease! Hollywood now has the coined phrase "starter marriages" which is essentially a lease on marriage. We have all become so obsessed with the newest, the best, that we do that even with our marriages. All marriages go thru some type of struggles at some point. I would even go so far as to say that at least one if not both parties in marriage at some point have this thought run through their head: "is this as good as it's going to get" or "if I had it all to do over again, would I still have chosen to marry her/him". This of course is evident by the fact, that after about the "5 year lease agreement" marriages end. This could be from anything from being bored, just sampling marriage to get good at it for the next partner. It could also occur from maybe a marriage that has lasted longer and the warranty has expired: hair is lost, weight is kept on, make-up isn't applied everyday, and you know they just aren't looking as good as they use to. (Thankfully, some get better with age!) And then there are deeper issues that go unresolved and it's just not worth the fight any longer. You add to this spending about 3-7 years having children, job changes, buying/selling a house, the economy tanking and you can't get a job, moves, all those BIG issues that really do affect a marriage. These are real issues. Marriage is a purchase not a lease. Through my education, as a Child & Family Studies major and licensed Administrator and my husband's and my time walking with multiple couples, officially and unofficially, through their peaks and valleys in a marriage; I know those struggles are real. They are constant and they need "routine maintenance" to remain committed. I'd challenge each of us to look at our own marriages and realize that although the "mileage" is there, although we have hit some really "rough spots in the road of life", marriage is a purchase not a lease. We can't give up so easily out of boredom or neglect. Keep that spark alive in your marriage. Be committed to making it last. No one really likes buying a used car!